"You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you."

Joshua Fields Millburn, The Minimalists.

Interesting perspective, right?

This doesn't mean we can ditch that annoying sibling who pushes our buttons every day or notify our parent or math teacher that they are no longer inspiring us!

It does remind us to check in with our language, body, and emotions when we're with our friends at school or on the weekends and notice how we feel.

If spending time around certain people leaves us feeling low, empty, or worse, it may be time to step away for a moment and reassess the connection. This may not require walking away from a friendship; we can learn a lot about ourselves through resolving conflict.

We can choose to use compassionate communication to express our unmet needs in the relationship and listen to their's.  It takes energy from both sides to build and maintain a relationship, and healthy boundaries. Mentors can help with this process of reflection, without judgement, so we can reach out when we need guidance or simply to be heard.

If being with someone fills you with joy and inspiration more often than fear or distress, that's a good sign the friendship is a healthy one based on mutual respect.

The quality of our connections can influence our mental wellness. Spend time with the ones that light you up!


Melissa Shadforth